upcycle app

[selforphaned]

cw for child abuse

Name: tori
Age: 25
Contact info: tori#3410 @ discord / odasaku

Character: Russell Seager
Canon: End Roll
Canon Point: Day 5 of the game, evening
CRAU, Canon AU: N/A
Character age: 14


Why do you think they can settle in a horror setting if they’re under 18?: While Russell is under 18, he is someone that is quite disturbed as a person and the dream that his canon takes place in is solid proof of it. His canon is rife with horror elements, despite being described as a "regretful adventure rpg" by the creator, Segawa. This includes disturbing content such as murder, child abuse, psychological trauma, among other things that are all mixed together and presented in his subconscious as a very dangerous and volatile dreamscape. Therefore the island would...not be all that different actually. If anything, it might even be better.

Canon Abilities/Powers: Outside of his dream, Russell is a powerless 14 year old. Do not underestimate him.

What is their greatest negative emotion towards an object, situation, or person in their past?:

Russell's greatest negative emotion is hate-- but specifically directed towards his parents. Though Russell was always someone who would turn to aggression as his first line of action and had murdered multiple people before turning his sight on his parents, the truth was that they were the source of all of his aggression. He killed Tabasa because the monkeys surrounding them reminded him of his father. He killed Gardenia because she had a dad that would celebrate her birthday and he didn't. He killed Cody and Dogma because they had a warm and caring mother while he had a narcissist, sex-obsessed woman who saw him as a curse and a hindrance at best.

But it was the moment that he saw his father killing Yumi when Russell finally snapped. He saw them as unpleasant people that brought him and everyone around him misfortune and harm by simply existing, so he took it upon himself to eliminate them by killing the both of them in cold blood. In his skewed mindset, he saw it as a way of making sure that his parents would never hurt anyone again.

How aware are they of this negative emotion, and how do they act on it in canon?:

Russell's awareness of his emotion is probably at a 7. In the real world, Russell was able to realize the source of his aggression in the moment that he saw Yumi, the policewoman that had so kindly taken him home so many nights and the one he had tried to protect from his dad's toxic affection, lifeless with his father's hands wrapped around her neck; a sudden 'aha!' moment. Though his canon point is before confronting the monster that represents his father, it is important to note that it is during this fight that Russell learns the skill "bloodlust", triggered by his memories of him. This is a step up from the skill "anger" which he learned during the quest with Cody and Dogma, two of the victims that died due to Russell's rage and jealousy over their happy family.

Since these "skills" represent Russell coming to terms with his emotions, then it is safe to assume that, at his canon point, he has come to understand that this is one of the leading emotions in many of his murders and has shaped him as a person. And it is also important to point out that, while he may not be fully aware of how deep his hatred towards his parents goes, it does not mean that it is not there.

What is their greatest virtue?:

Russell's greatest virtue is undoubtedly his kindness. Though it might be quite strange for a murderer of 6 people to be described as kind, the truth is that, without the influence of his parents, Russell is capable of being genuinely kind. As a person, he's relatively straightforward, and will not do things that he does not want to do and will do whatever he wants to do. Therefore, things such as taking care of his pet rabbit and holding it close as it died and helping that girl that was lost in the aquarium can be considered as another facet of Russell--one that was unfortunately smothered by the extreme abuse and neglect brought upon him by his parents.

But it is not gone completely. From day 1 of the Happy Dream, when he is supposedly nothing more than an emotionless killer, Russell is willing to help the inhabitants of his dream with their tasks and missions, no matter how dangerous they might be. And, as time goes on and we get a glimpse into Russell's inner thoughts, we see that he is someone that is starving for love and kindness. He wants to reach out to others. He wants to value others.

But it's a little too late for that, isn't it?

How aware are they of their virtue, and how do they act on it in canon?:

Russell's awareness of his kindness is probably a big fat 1. And the reason for this is because he did not know what kindness was. As a child from an extremely broken family, all he has known is violence and neglect from his parents, who not once showed him any form of affection. They considered him a curse, they never celebrated his birthday, they hit him with insults and fists-- it was as bad as it could be. Because of this, he not only grew up not knowing kindness, but his later experiences as a teenager made him afraid of that mysterious thing. The nurse that helped him behind the scenes in the hospital was a woman overtaken by an intense jealousy who, in an act of desperation, asked Russell to kill her. The doctor from a foreign land who would shelter Russell after his murders in that back alley clinic was wrought with guilt and secrets, resulting in him begging the teenager to take his life.

In both cases, Russell complied with their requests, but it taught him something: adults that are kind to you will only use you. Kindness is a tool to use others. Yumi's death, too, was another nail in that coffin. Though she never used him or ever betrayed his trust, the fact that her compassion resulted in her death only cemented the fact that kindness is useless, perhaps even dangerous.

You would think that his experimental rehabilitation would help with figuring out what kindness is and unlearning his fear of it...but that is unfortunately not the case. Through the Happy Dream, the kindness from their victims is not meant to teach the subject the value of kindness but to induce guilt and remorse in them. In Russell's case, the kindness from his victims has become a source of pain, grief and, most importantly, guilt for him, that any kind acts that he did in his past only bring him a similar pain. Whatever kindness they give him in his dream, he is immediately punished by having to replay the memories of his murders--sometimes even more than once. This kindness only serves as proof of what he doesn't deserve and that he is a warped person that ruined the lives of, not only his victims, but their families as well.

But this does not take away from the fact that, even if he does not recognize it, Russell has always been able to be kind--it's just that the world he grew up in did not permit it.

Items:
- His diary
- An empty syringe

Samples: here
Special Notes: n/a