When I opened the door, I was in an entirely new place.
It was a town I couldn't recognize, no matter how hard I looked and looked.
I can't find anyone from the village here. I don't even have my equipment. Only my diary and an empty syringe. I don't think I've ever woken up in the Happy Dream with the syringe...so is this a new dream? Did something happen to the real me?
Well, maybe that's alright. Whatever happens to me...I probably deserve it.
It told me that this was no dream, and that I should try not to kill if I could help it. That I would become something I regret if I did.
How can this happen? If this isn't a dream...then where am I? And how did they know that I am a killer?
If only they knew...that I've already become something horrible. I learned guilt and there's nothing I can do about it anymore. Even if I'm free from the experiment...this will always chase me, won't it? This crushing feeling.
I've spoken to other people in the...texting chat. It's strange, having a cellphone. Some are nice. Others are weird. But I'll have to hide it from them, too, right? That I'm a killer.
I spoke with someone from the "Admin" group today.
They said that I was free from the experiment...that I deserved a second chance and that this was a better place than Dreamsend. But then I learned that we came to this place because of an agreement that I don't remember to do something that I can't know. Apparently, if I learn this, I will go insane. I wonder if that's what you'd call irony?
I don't trust them. I don't like them or any of the other people in that group. In comparison to this...Dreamsend might have been the better option. At least I knew what was happening there.
But... they said such nice things. They worried about me. Do I deserve to be told these nice things? Do I deserve to be worried about? I don't...know what I can do with a second chance. What if I fail? What if I kill someone again?
They started a discussion to share information earlier today.
One person said that this place will become worse and worse until we 'face our guilt'. Another said that the dead do not stay dead. Someone else confirmed that this place changes due to our thoughts and wishes.
I don't know what else this could be other than an experiment.
If you're going to use me, then at least be honest.
I saw the things following me. They're monsters. The person that's sending them is doing it to feed on my negative emotions. They're unsettling creatures, and the person controlling them is annoying. I don't like him. He uses his powers to feel superior to others. He's like dad. Disgusting. I wish he'd just die.
But I can't kill him. He's too strong. But maybe one day someone will teach him his lesson.
A man named Chikai helped me choose an anime to watch. It was silly, like for children...but it was nice to watch. I can't trust most adults...but he didn't seem too bad. Just weird.
I spoke to an exorcist while I wandered the city at night. I had never met an exorcist before, but the way he spoke reminded me of...never mind. It's not important. His name was Matoba. He killed the things following me somehow, and said that he would help me. But what will he want from me?
The knight I met before is back. He took me to feed the birds. He says that he wants to be a knight to help as many people as possible and that it's alright if people hate him because he couldn't save them. I wish he could have saved me. But...I don't want to add on to his burden. I don't want him to spend time on someone as horrible as I am. I'm not worth saving anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I can't stand to be in this place any longer. I no longer know what's real or not. At least in Dreamsend I knew that it was a dream. I knew that I would eventually wake up and the cycle would repeat over and over to rehabilitate me.
What am I doing this for? Is this just torture? If it were just for me, then I would accept this. But the others that I met. The others that helped me. Why are they here? Why are they getting tortured like this? It's not fair. IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT FAIR!
I hate them. They're horrible monsters that shouldn't be alive. I wish they would just die.
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upcycle
1
It was a town I couldn't recognize, no matter how hard I looked and looked.
I can't find anyone from the village here. I don't even have my equipment. Only my diary and an empty syringe. I don't think I've ever woken up in the Happy Dream with the syringe...so is this a new dream? Did something happen to the real me?
Well, maybe that's alright. Whatever happens to me...I probably deserve it.
2
It told me that this was no dream, and that I should try not to kill if I could help it. That I would become something I regret if I did.
How can this happen? If this isn't a dream...then where am I? And how did they know that I am a killer?
If only they knew...that I've already become something horrible. I learned guilt and there's nothing I can do about it anymore. Even if I'm free from the experiment...this will always chase me, won't it? This crushing feeling.
I've spoken to other people in the...texting chat. It's strange, having a cellphone. Some are nice. Others are weird. But I'll have to hide it from them, too, right? That I'm a killer.
3
They said that I was free from the experiment...that I deserved a second chance and that this was a better place than Dreamsend. But then I learned that we came to this place because of an agreement that I don't remember to do something that I can't know. Apparently, if I learn this, I will go insane. I wonder if that's what you'd call irony?
I don't trust them. I don't like them or any of the other people in that group. In comparison to this...Dreamsend might have been the better option. At least I knew what was happening there.
But... they said such nice things. They worried about me. Do I deserve to be told these nice things? Do I deserve to be worried about? I don't...know what I can do with a second chance. What if I fail? What if I kill someone again?
4
One person said that this place will become worse and worse until we 'face our guilt'. Another said that the dead do not stay dead. Someone else confirmed that this place changes due to our thoughts and wishes.
I don't know what else this could be other than an experiment.
If you're going to use me, then at least be honest.
5
There's something watching me, and I don't know what it is. I can see it from the corner of my eyes, but when I turn around, it's gone.
Why must they follow me here too...
6.
But I can't kill him. He's too strong. But maybe one day someone will teach him his lesson.
7.
A man named Chikai helped me choose an anime to watch. It was silly, like for children...but it was nice to watch. I can't trust most adults...but he didn't seem too bad. Just weird.
I spoke to an exorcist while I wandered the city at night. I had never met an exorcist before, but the way he spoke reminded me of...never mind. It's not important. His name was Matoba. He killed the things following me somehow, and said that he would help me. But what will he want from me?
The knight I met before is back. He took me to feed the birds. He says that he wants to be a knight to help as many people as possible and that it's alright if people hate him because he couldn't save them. I wish he could have saved me. But...I don't want to add on to his burden. I don't want him to spend time on someone as horrible as I am. I'm not worth saving anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1.
I can't stand to be in this place any longer. I no longer know what's real or not. At least in Dreamsend I knew that it was a dream. I knew that I would eventually wake up and the cycle would repeat over and over to rehabilitate me.
What am I doing this for? Is this just torture? If it were just for me, then I would accept this. But the others that I met. The others that helped me. Why are they here? Why are they getting tortured like this? It's not fair. IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT FAIR!
I hate them. They're horrible monsters that shouldn't be alive. I wish they would just die.